Monday, 31 January 2011

The Elephant in the Room



This is known in the business as an 'elephant door'. It is the enormous door to the hanger-size studio where sets are created for TV shows & movies.
I can tell you the door is large enough to accommodate two elephants standing on each other - or a pyramind of three elephants.
Just why it was decided that an elephant was quite the largest thing one had to move into a studio is beyond me.
Poor elephant.
Always regarded as the largest thing in the room.

Tuesday, 11 January 2011

Fly Tipping

Fly Tipping is illegal in the UK.
I tried it once.
It's very difficult.
First you have to land the fly.
Then you have to make it stay still - I found that hypnotism helps.
Once it's still it's very important that you apply just the necessary amount of pressure to just 'tip' the fly over. Too much and you send it careening into the furniture.
I got it wrong and sent the fly smack into the wall, where it stayed, squished.
Fly squishing is not illegal in the UK.
So I face no criminal charges.

Monday, 10 January 2011

A Rose By Any Other Name?

Why are footballers' wives or girlfriends called WAGs?
Surely it should be WOGs. Is that still a racist term?
My father was called a WOG when he first came to Britain.
They tried to justify it by saying it stood for: Worthy Oriental Gentleman.
I think it means anyone who isn't British - "The WOGs start at Calais!", because my father is about as Oriental as a tea cup... which actually originates in China....erm...

What's in a name? A lot actually.
If you called a rose a stink-bomb no-one would want to smell it in the first place.

So I guess WAG is quite apt. What wags? A tail. On a dog.